The Hamster Wheel of Misery
Do you feel stuck? Like really stuck? Like you can't see how to get off the path you're on and it's all moving faster than you are really comfortable with and you just need a DAMN BREAK to get some headspace to work out if you're even going in the right direction?
If you're looking for a shoulder to cry on, you might not really like my first question to you, because it's a tough one....
How are you personally responsible for creating a situation that you don't want to be in, that's making you feel trapped?
Huh. It's kind of easy to blame other things as being the factors that go up to make a life that's less than glorious. No money, no time, a crap boss. But all those things are what they are.
(God, if I had a pound for every time at work I gritted my teeth, said 'it is what it is' and put my head down and ploughed on...)
So those things - shall we call them what they are, which is EXCUSES - they are a facts that are on your particular table. But if you're the one that's putting up with those things, then you are looking at the wrong things to blame. If you are so ground down by something, something in your life that is causing you pain, then YOU have to be the one to remove yourself from that source of pain.
Brendon Burchard talks about the two factors that will change any situation. You've got external and internal factors.
External ones could be something good, positive, exciting - a promotion or a pay rise or winning the lottery. Or it could be something devastating that throws you off course - being fired, redundancy, some personal tragedy in your life. Either way, one of these external factors could be the thing that forces you to change your situation. You've been backed into a corner and now you have to act.
So do you want to wait (and wait and wait and wait) for something to come along that you have no control over - good or bad - to change things? Or do you want that catalyst to be INTERNAL - do you want to be your own agent of change?
Our brain is clever and tricksy. We might be in a situation that is causing us pain - but ah, it is a FAMILIAR pain. It is almost a COMFORTABLE pain. Because, reasons our brain, maybe that new situation is going to bring a NEW pain that could be so much worse. So let's just not find out shall we?
This is what our brain does. It protects us from the unknown by keeping us comfortable with the familiar. It uses fear almost as a little security blanket to keep us on that treadmill. But if it is no longer serving you, you've GOT to speak up. Tell your brain 'thanks for looking out for me, but I'll take it from here'.
Back with my boy, BB, he talks about fear simply bad management of our mental faculties. Fear is really a fear of what is not known. If you explore it, unpack it and start to understand it, then it loses its potency and you can begin to move past it.
If you focus on the fear of what might happen if you changed your situation, then your brain is always going to keep pulling you back towards the pain. But if you break the cycle of that and start to focus on the gains you might accumulate by stepping off the treadmill and trying something new, then you have the potential to move forwards to a much more fulfilling place.
As Marianne Williamson says:
'Your ability to think about something differently has the power to make it different'
YOU have the control over what you focus on. So focus on the positive.
Focus on the possibility.
Give yourself a break. Sorting this stuff out is HARD. It's a lot faster and more fun when you have help
Be like Laura! She said:
Having worked in the same field for almost 15 years, I was starting to feel like I needed a change, but wasn't sure what that might be... After speaking with Jessica, I was fizzing with ideas and energy, and also found a new love for my existing job. I'm now making lots of plans and am really excited about the upcoming months. Talking to Jessica is just like talking to a friend who knows you really well!
You deserve to feel fizzy.
You've earned a dance break (this one's quite shoe-gazey). Go have a tune.